Friday, June 5, 2009

Ow, ow, ow, ow

I *hate* needles. So, what would be the most fun thing I could do? Survey says....Allergy Testing!

Yes, that's right, here's twenty small "scratches" we will do on your back. Ok, a "scratch" is something that grazes the skin, kind of mildly. What I had done was a friggin nail gun going machine gun into my back.

Ok, now we will wait 20 minutes to see what happens. If any of those start to itch, or burn, then we will know what you are allergic to. The more you react to now, the fewer intradermal tests we will have to do next.

Now, for those of you that aren't half-nurse, like I am, interadermal is a fancy word for shot. Thanks for letting me know about the possiblity if more fun shots, and, better yet, letting me stew about those for the next twenty minutes. Did the Marquis de Sade give you the day off today to work here?

Twenty minutes, no itching, no burning, no nothing. Jane, come in here, will you look at this? Gee, I've never seen that before, he didn't react to any of those.

Just my luck, I shoulda bought a lottery ticket.

Well, sorry about that, but now let's do twenty shots of more fun, this time with real needles. Let's pick somewhere fleshy, how bout the triceps of each arm? Great, 10 on the left, 10 on the right. And, when I do these, I have to inject a bit of allergen (translated = something nasty) under the skin. So these aren't nail guns like the ones on the back, these are full fledgers.

Ok, so that's 40 needles and the results..... One. Only one damn thing caused a reaction. Gee, good thing you didn't do these one at a time and then stop when you found it. That would have taken all the fun out of it.

So, I'm allergic to mold. In the air, on stuff, maybe even in foods. Here's some pills, there's some nasal spray. When do you want to come in for the next round of tests?

Gee, the 3rd of Never is good for me, but in lieu of that, how about after Thanksgiving. That way I can be thankful for not being another human pincushion for the next month or so.

(Originally posted on myspace, October 2005)

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year from Maddie

Madilyn is wishing everyone a Happy 2009 from Tennessee. So it's another state for her to cross off her list as she celebrates her very first New Year's Day. And she's wearing a snazzy new outfit from Aunt Shelley.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Insert Tab A into Slot B...hey, wait a minute

Zoo solves mystery of celibate polar bears (

Ok, I'm thinking that even those meddling kids from Scooby Doo wouldn't have taken three years to figure out this "mystery".

I'm thinking the Japanese zoo must have called in those experts from the Wildlife Conservation Society, Dave and George. You may remember them from such blog postings as "Where do you hide 125,000 gorillas?" Let's tune in for another exciting episode, shall we?

Dave: Wow, Japan. This is really exciting. Do you think we'll get to see Godzilla?

George: Um, sure. No, wait... I heard on the plane that he was going to be at Disney World for Thanksgiving this year.

Dave: Darn it, I come all this way... hey, quit pulling my chain, George. I'm smart enough to know that there is no Thanksgiving in Japan.

George: *rolling his eyes* Geez, you caught me.

Dave: So I wonder why these two polar bears haven't started getting it on. Maybe they need some atmosphere.

George: Atmosphere? Please, enlighten me.

Dave: You know... soft music, candles, a romantic dinner.

George: Um, why don't we start with something a little more basic. How about the old Noah's Ark test?

Dave: C'mon, do you really think they would have flown us all the way from New York if they hadn't already checked to make sure they have one boy bear and one girl bear?

George: Dude, I'm not going in there. Those are full grown polar bears. They could rip me apart and have me for dinner.

Dave: *under his breath* Well, I'm sure that'd be romantic for them.

George: And even if they are two girl bears, that's fine by me.

Dave: I'm going to go in there... Wait a second, what?!?

George: Hey, I'm hip with what's going on today. I've watched the L Word.

Dave: *stunned, with jaw open*

George: I mean really, if that aging rocker chick and her partner had a kid, these two hot young bears should be no problem. I'll go find an older, drunk, fading stud, you find the turkey baster.

Dave: I knew I should have waited until Sam came back from vacation.

George: Hurry up, I'm going to be hungry in a hour.

George: C'mon, I want to get this done so I can see Mothra as she comes out of her cocoon.

Dave: If you kill someone with a turkey baster in another country, and they are dumber than a rock, can you hear it?

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Good Luck, Marauders!

The Ovid-Elsie Marauders, which is my cousins' alma mater, destroyed the Standish-Sterling Panthers in prep football this weekend, 55-20. This means O-E will play, for the first time, in the state championships after Thanksgiving. They will play Muskegon Oakridge, the number one ranked team in Division 5, at Ford Field on Nov. 29th at 4:30 p.m. Link to the playoff tree.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Speeding Tickets

The Detroit News has an interesting article about speeding ticket quotas, as well as an interactive map of each city/village/township in the tri-county area which shows yearly ticket numbers as well as lists speed traps.

Personality Type?

The famous Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is shown as a four character shorthand notation for each of the personality types. I've taken several of these tests and the my results are almost always the same: ISTJ (Introversion, Sensing, Thinking, Judging).

The website lets you enter a website, say this blog, and then determines which type you are.

Based on the postings I have made to my blog, typealyzer decided to mark me as ESTP (Extraversion, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving).

Well, 2 out of 4 ain't bad. If you are the Detroit Lions, 50% would be a massive and unexpected upgrade. Even if you are a Detroit Tigers batter that isn't too shabby. But, as with all things on the web, your mileage may vary. :)

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

At the 11th minute of the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month...

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

In Flanders Fields by John McCrae

For all veterans, including our cousin Viktor Scherbinksi (Find a Grave), a Russian by birth, Polish by ancestry, American by choice. With thanks for your service and sacrifice for your new country.