Telephone Etiquette

This shouldn't be rocket science, but it amazes me how many people just don't get it.

• Should the telephone connection between two callers be disconnected, whomever initiated the original call is the one to call back. Otherwise, both people are sent to a special section of hell reserved for the Call-Busy-Voicemail Vicious Circle, as described on the TV show Sports Night at wikiquote.

Casey: It's a vicious circle.

Dan: It is.

Casey: It's a never-ending circle.

Dan: It just keeps going round and round.

Casey: It never ends.

Dan: That's what makes it vicious.

Casey: And a circle.

• When you are calling someone "just to chat", do not leave a voicemail message. I will use my superhero power known as "Caller ID" to notice your call, including its date and time, and use that information to call you back. Or not, depending on my mood. If you leave a voicemail message, it had better contain relevant information like "Meet me at 7PM" or "If I wanted to buy you an expensive gift, and need to know what your size your wrist is".